On Amitabh Bachchan's Blog..

In the world of life and struggle, I wobble through the rivers of disdain and unwanted cynicism..
Of hatred and jealousy and malice and deliberate abuse..
I swim across to the banks where there are none. The sand below my feet is soft at touch but torturous and rapidly thinning.
The harsh rocks of deliberation and deceit lacerate a body that has known no injury.
I am consumed. I breathe with bated breath. I am still and voluminous and inert…
I am simply me in disguise and paint..
Music is supreme.. Loud and lyrical..
I am in life.. I am me..

ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE!

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:

“Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease”?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

“The world over — 50 million children start playing tennis,

5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis,

50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam,

50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,

When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD ‘Why me?’.

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD ‘Why me?’ “

“Happiness keeps you Sweet,

Trials keep you Strong,

Sorrow keeps you Human,

Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith &

Attitude keeps you going…

why cant people be less complicated and understand...
i wonder why all my posts are asking questions and questions, which always remain unanswered...and i still continue asking!

Before Sunrise

Daydream delusion, limousine eyelash
Oh baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet-cakes and milkshakes
I'm a delusion angel
I'm a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Lodged in life
Like branches in a river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I carry you
You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me? Don't you know me by now?

A Street poet in Before Sunrise

blaahh

wish i could also have an endless conversation with a stranger..which could go on an on and on...without any apprehensions, without any tensions and without any conscience...
i wonder when will i start 'living'...
life seems such a drag...want to have a free life, want to travel...far far away to some unknown land, amidst strangers...wear whatever i want to, sit the way i want to and for once not care about what the other person thinks...
wonder if thats ever possible

weird things

Somethings are just too weird….i realized today that we spend more time with our electronic gadgets rather than our family. We are ready to spend more than half of the day sitting in front of a computer, chatting, smsing, talking on the phone, or just playing games on a computer. Can you imagine we like spending time with these non-living things, these mechanical things which have no feelings or emotions whatsoever. And we prefer these over our friends and families. Life would have been so much better without then na! Well u no it is ironical, I actually cannot survive without my cell-phone or without my laptop, but I have started hating my dependency on them..
I guess we should all learn to draw a line somewhere. Stop using them for a while and learn to live sometime without them, which perhaps will be the most difficult thing for freaks like us.
Sometime back, all my cousins had gathered together after quite a long time. I was excited to be with them again and have our usual fights. Teasing sessions, troubling sessions and the likes, but what made me sad was that when I went in the room to greet them, I encountered a stony silence and all four of them sitting in front of their respective computers/laptops and busy in their chatting sessions or their gaming sessions. Such is life…imagine four young boys who wouldn’t stop chattering, don’t have a word to say to each other now!
I wonder what kind of lives my children will lead!! Kind of scary….

LIFE

life gives you a thousand reasons to smile and a thousand more to cry...one important phase of life ends and brings with it few tears, some fond memories and some treasured moments...to be remembered forever...
it also brings with itself, apprehensions, nervousness, excitement and fear...fear of trodding down an unknown path, fear of coming across strangers, new people, fear of leaving the comfort zone...and venturing into unfamiliar territory...
every change is apprehended, questioned, doubted amd frowned upon...even if its for the better...
i remember leaving Suri & Co. with so much uncertainity and fear...with my mind full of scary thoughts....apprehensions....and wondering what was in store for me......

but that was a very wonderful change...loved every minute spent there :)
maybe most of the changes that happen are for the best :)

Everyday, i come to office, stare at the computer screen and watch, play, research, chat or simply and idiotically browse the net...see others pictures or mine. And everynight i sleep, i do not feel discontent, i wonder how and why. I wonder whether i have gotten into the habit of simply lazing around doing nothing. Its not funny! Everyday i decide i have to do something meaningful, finish one task, but i return back home everyday, with zero knowledge and full wastage of time. Is this the reason why i love coming to this office? Because i get appreciation for work without much effort, or the fact that i get ti sit with people who are interesting and funny! But where does that leave my personal growth? Right there on the backseat, sitting happily behind everything else, even those which are irrelevant.
Perhaps its time i grew up.

ironies of life

me, mom and dad have been counting the ironies of life lately, and maybe we have started noticing them just now, but they seem to spring out from everywhere!

Mom told me that when she was young, she never came across any ironies, probably because she never got any two extreme situations to compare..

Dad is shifting to Mumbai very soon...look at the irony, we'l be here in Delhi and he'll be there...n now when he'l get free early, n come back home at 6, he'll just have the walls to talk to...weird isn't it..
when finally we got a new car..there isn't anyone to drive it...
when the age is for mom to sit back and relax, she'll be hunting for a new job in b'bay...

it seems that i have forgotten the ironies of life that i silently counted in my head....will be back for the rest...

babies part 2

THESE PICTURES ARE COURTESY SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE THESE WONDERFUL PICTURES WITH THE WORLD ON VARIOUS SITE, APOLOGIES FOR NOT GIVING DUE CREDIT TO THEM, BUT HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND THE ORIGINAL PICTURE TAKERS.





some more of them!

yipeee!

yaaahhoooooo!!!
M the new editor-in-chief....
m sooo happy....
it feels as if things are now falling in place...
i deserve this! i shall treat myself for this...
i wonder what should i do....
ummm......

स्माल लिटिल पोएम

हर खुशी है लोगों के दमन में, पर एक हँसी के लिए वक्त नही।
दिन रात दौड़ती दुनिया में, जिंदगी के लिए ही वक्त नही।
माँ की लोरी का एहसास तो है, पर माँ को माँ कहने का वक्त नही।
सारे रिश्तों को तो हम मार चुके, अब उन्हें दफ़नाने का भी वक्त नही।
सारे नाम मोबाइल में हैं, पर दोस्ती के लए वक्त नही।
गैरों की क्या बात करें, जब अपनों के लिए ही वक्त नही।
आंखों में है नींद बड़ी, पर सोने का वक्त नही।
दिल है ग़मौं से भरा हुआ, पर रोने का भी वक्त नही।
पैसों की दौड़ में ऐसे दौडे, की थकने का भी वक्त नही।
पराये एहसासों की क्या कद्र करें, जब अपने सपनो के लिए ही वक्त नही।
तू ही बता ऐ जिंदगी, इस जिंदगी का क्या होगा, की हर पल मरने वालों को, जीने के लिए भी वक्त नही.......

happiness and sadness

i wonder why, i write only when i am brimming with emotions; either of sadness or happiness..
right now i am happy! happy because for the first time i achieved something ON MY OWN..no approaches, nothing! MY CV got accepted in Anand and Anand! I feel so elated...so..i don't even have words...
I never knew i could do anything on my own caliber... i had taken for granted, i would need help, help of my parents or my friends anyone but i couldn't believe i could do any such thing on my own...
Thank you, Anand & Anand....for giving me the confidence, a new high...something to be proud of..

Sana thinks that luck is nothing...you, your own self is everything..i strongly beg to differ.. i am lucky cz i have an amzing an supportive family. Often i look at a street kid and wonder what life that kid is leading...he would stare at other little kids with jealousy and awe, a kid being pampered n spoiled by his parents, little knowing that this very kid may not even feel any bit of emotion for these very parents or for that matter grow up, move away and leave those parents to rot in an old age home...

life is weird...

some more baby pics

aren't they adorable


THESE PICTURES ARE COURTESY SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE THESE WONDERFUL PICTURES WITH THE WORLD ON VARIOUS SITES, APOLOGIES FOR NOT GIVING DUE CREDIT TO THEM, BUT HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND THE ORIGINAL PICTURE TAKERS.

babies

I have no clue what has gotten into me..and why do i have a sudden obsession with babies...i have collected so many pictures of little toddlers, that i have started loosing count..
I simply adore babies, for the simple reason that they are purely innocent, without any bad habits and without any prejudices and biases.They will gladly hop in your lap after initial apprehension, and won't care whether you are a Hindu or a Muslim or a servant or a rich man..
these little angels have an uncanny ability to make you forget your tensions and problems, the minute you see their smiling and innocent faces.
i wish to give birth...to bring out a new life from me..to be able to understand the joy or rather bliss of 'creating'...
Being a mother is the greatest joy for a woman and its really unfair that any woman should be deprived of this by nature...

loved this

read this beautiful piece written by Sh Harivansh Rai Bachchan for his son, Sh Amitabh Bachchan....intelligent and witty...
Courtesy...Amitabh Bachchan 's Blog

nostalgia

nostalgia prevails when i am supposed to be working! what timings!
came across few blogs and where one particular blogger was remembering her old times..and made me also think about my old lost memories tucked away somewhere..
i remembered one such incident where me, my sister and my two cousins wanted to do something adventurous.. (adventure then meant climbing gates and walls and jumping!) ..that was class 5..or perhaps 6..i vividly remember wearing my light pink shoes, that i simply loved...and all four of us climbing away to glory on the neighbour's wall to jump to the backside of the neighbour's house, which was nothing but a dumping ground or rather a junk yard..and our hidden 'adventures' to find a hidden treasure there (which was more often than not a rare coloured stone! ).. anyways back to that day...i remember coming back from the junkyard still on the wall trying hard not to step on the pieces of glass on stuck deliberately on the wall to ward off trespassers (read us!).. when i hear my aunt and uncle coming..we all panicked at the thought of being caught standing on neighbor's wall, that we rushed and amidst this a glass piece passed through my pretty pink shoe and pierced my foot..
anyone would have fainted at the sight of blood gushing out, but me..oh never! i was NOT a cry baby...very calmly (and i still wonder how on earth!) i managed to pull put that piece, jump from the wall, with my blood drops following me, and ran to the nearest washroom to wash my feet...without a single tear i managed to survive a bloody incident and happily resumed our activities!

thank god!

I don't remember the last time i thanked Allah for making me the person i am, for giving me such a loving family and such amazing friends..
Busy with the other 'less important' things we tend to forget the being that created us and gave us the life we are leading...
Today i saw something which made me realise how lucky i am, to be born with perfect hands, eyes, feet...the list is endless...
Today while going to the parking lot of Saket's posh mall, i saw two swanky cars on the entrance, one Mercedes and the other one BMW..curiosity drew me to stare at those amazing machines when my eyes fell upon a young good looking boy, probably in his early twenties or perhaps late teens, sitting on a wheel-chair right in front of the Mercedes. One lady way brushing his hair and another man was smiling and talking to him. I was looking at his feet trying to figure out what was wrong when i suddenly saw another wheel chair nearing the Mercedes, and a young pretty girl about the same age sitting on the back seat of the car, with her feet outside, and her mother (probably), trying to make her stand and sit on the chair...
I was shocked, how can God be so cruel, to give such a terrible disease to someone so beautiful... i realised that even though they may be having all the money in the world, they were still deprived of something that we all take for granted...our feet...
And just when i was recovering from the shock, i saw two good looking boys, most probably members of the same family, in their late twenties and one of the boys also couldn't walk properly. Even though he did not need a wheel chair still his walk was of the kinds that people turned and stared at him..

i was very disturbed and i still am very disturbed...we do not realise and thank Allah for the things he has given us, instead we crib for what we do not have, a better brain, a better figure, a better face and so on... our demands and wishes are endless..

I thank Allah for bestowing upon me His blessings and a good fortune. And i hope and pray that He forfiges me for all the sins i have committed and hope He makes me a stronger person...

ufffff.................

what the hell is happening to this world...
neeraj bhaiya killed...rather chopped into pieces....ufffff.........
i am just too upset..everyday EVERY GOD DAMN DAY I have to hear such a news....first sanchit's murder, then aarushi's and now this....
poor poor parents...
how can people be so cruel how can they do this.......
what is this world coming to?
what kind of an atmosphere my children will grow up in....
i am not liking this AT ALL...
may his soul rest in peace

Life is so unpredictable, you sleep one night without knowing whether you will see the next day or the next minute for that matter.
Two very shocking incident happened in the past week. One was the murder of a young 18 year old by some people he knew, and one which has really shook me from inside is the murder of 14 year old Arushi. Yes, it did make a difference to me because I had seen her some time back, she’s my dentist’s daughter. I guess I first saw her around 10 years back, she was probably a toddler then, I don’t even remember, but I do remember her from the last visit..
Everyone thinks that something this bad couldn’t ever happen to us or our family or our friends.. But then its happening right in front of our eyes… its actually unbelievable.. I just do not understand how can someone be so mentally sick so as to kill a young innocent girl…
I have to do something…not just sit and witness these events…read about a young girl being raped, read about an infant being raped by her own father… appalling, atrocious and JUST PLAIN DISGUSTING ... I think such people should be hanged till they rot..

I mean just the thought of a mother seeing the dead body of her son or daughter with whom she nurtured so many dreams, shared so many thoughts, precious moments and more importantly who actually came out of her…is just so scary… so unimaginable…

Is this why a mother gives birth to her child? To see her getting raped, to see his dead body… to see all her hopes and dreams of seeing her child get married, become a father or a mother just disappear with the child’s ashes..

Why do people do this…why cant they be happy and let others LIVE

old age

the thought of losing a parent is just unthinkable at this minute...i would die, if i have to wake up without my mom's shouts or begin my day without seeing my dad donning that skull cap, praying and his ever smiling face.. (well..mostly!)... Met my grand dad...wasn't exactly close to him...but seeing him so frail and weak made my heart melt...i dont think i can even imagine the gravity of pain being felt my father when he sees his father, whom i am sure he must have idolized in such a condition...
i cant imagine the emotions that must have gone through my father when he said 'khuda-haafiz'to him, not knowing whether he'll get to see him alive again...and i cannot imagine the guilt he must be having of not being there at this age..
life is actually strange....
it just flashes by...
I feel sad for my grand father...happy also, that he got to attend his eldest grand daughters weddings and sad that perhaps he wont be there to shower his blessings on me when i tie the knot... sad because he spent good 15-16 years without his better half by his side....it must be so difficult...even with a room full of your sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, grandchildren...u still feel incomplete...so alone...
its scary...
so unnerving...

i hope he lives a healthy life and so does every one around me...

blaaahhh

its been ages since i wrote something...
lots of things going on in my mind....gonna miss someone...and he still hasn't left this city... :(
just got over with the moot..had an amazing time...and saw some true faces of people...some shocking and some pleasant...
the thought that i give too much liberties to the people around me just made me realise that in this process i am loosing my dignity and self-esteem...why do i let people around me commit the same mistake again and again...and why do i forgive and forget so easily, without realising that those mistakes are mistakes for me and not for the other person...for him...its just normal.
and yes....i have also learnt to let go....although i did not want things to end like this..but then i din't have a choice....i never do.....
annndddd....oh crap....i have to do my projects...bye for now

just like that :)

I have been reading some blogs…my sister’s; even her faculty’s….i too wanted to make a beautiful blog…perhaps a poetic one…or one that shows that I am grammatically superior to so many others! But I realized creativity is something natural, u cant actually do anything…I remember my sister in school…..she had the most atrocious spellings ever…we used to call her spellings’ truck wali spellings….read a truck’s rear and you’ll know what I mean! And now you read her blog…its simply delightful…a pure pleasure to read..and to gather from the words what an intelligent being she has become….

Sometimes I realize I haven’t grown up much…she was always the immature one; the kid in the family…..primarily because I was ONE minute elder to her…I think it’s the other way round now!

Coming back to where I was….

We look for the things lacking in us….

We envy others who are prettier, more intelligent, more slimmer,

More attractive than us…

What we do miss out in the process of comparison is the qualities in us…

Our hidden self

Our hidden talents..

And we fail to realize that

the pretty people aren’t necessarily the prettiest humans;

it may seem cliché but it actually matters who you are on the inside;

good friendships, good relationships; are good only because of the person inside you

freedom...

i want to break free......free from mindless and senseless taunts..free from the constant nagging...free from unwanted advices...free from mind boggling instructions.
i want freedom...freedom to grow the way i want to...freedom to learn the way i want to....freedom to things MY way....
i wish i had the chance to grow and learn on my own....wish i had the privilege to learn things my way....wish i had the chance to do things i always wished without any qualms and tensions....and without caring a damn about the world around me.

sorry sana! took this from your blog! :)

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -

Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.

- Vikram Seth

welcome 2008!

Another year draws to an end….a phase of life is over…

Less emotional

Little bit more mature

Stronger

A Better person

Happier

Confident

Proud of my achievements

Wild

These are some of the things I have achieved this year.

Every year brings with it more opportunities and more maturity…

Made some amazing new friends, realized who my true friends are, broke some old ties and made some better ones…and rekindled old friendships..

Became the sub editor then the editor, got my articles published, went for the trip…grew up in my own little way….

Take care of my elders

Become more religious

Pray

Read the Koran

Learn more about my religion

Lose weight

Become the editor in chief

Become less emotional

Less dependant on others

Little bit more mature

Study harder and better

Aim for the stars

Do something outrageous and wild

Be there for anyone who needs me

Become more professionally and mentally sound

Read more books, not just collect them.

These are some of the little little things I wish to achieve in 2008….