me, mom and dad have been counting the ironies of life lately, and maybe we have started noticing them just now, but they seem to spring out from everywhere!
Mom told me that when she was young, she never came across any ironies, probably because she never got any two extreme situations to compare..
Dad is shifting to Mumbai very soon...look at the irony, we'l be here in Delhi and he'll be there...n now when he'l get free early, n come back home at 6, he'll just have the walls to talk to...weird isn't it..
when finally we got a new car..there isn't anyone to drive it...
when the age is for mom to sit back and relax, she'll be hunting for a new job in b'bay...
it seems that i have forgotten the ironies of life that i silently counted in my head....will be back for the rest...
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
babies part 2
THESE PICTURES ARE COURTESY SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE THESE WONDERFUL PICTURES WITH THE WORLD ON VARIOUS SITE, APOLOGIES FOR NOT GIVING DUE CREDIT TO THEM, BUT HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND THE ORIGINAL PICTURE TAKERS.
some more of them!
some more of them!
yipeee!
yaaahhoooooo!!!
M the new editor-in-chief....
m sooo happy....
it feels as if things are now falling in place...
i deserve this! i shall treat myself for this...
i wonder what should i do....
ummm......
M the new editor-in-chief....
m sooo happy....
it feels as if things are now falling in place...
i deserve this! i shall treat myself for this...
i wonder what should i do....
ummm......
Friday, June 27, 2008
स्माल लिटिल पोएम
हर खुशी है लोगों के दमन में, पर एक हँसी के लिए वक्त नही।
दिन रात दौड़ती दुनिया में, जिंदगी के लिए ही वक्त नही।
माँ की लोरी का एहसास तो है, पर माँ को माँ कहने का वक्त नही।
सारे रिश्तों को तो हम मार चुके, अब उन्हें दफ़नाने का भी वक्त नही।
सारे नाम मोबाइल में हैं, पर दोस्ती के लए वक्त नही।
गैरों की क्या बात करें, जब अपनों के लिए ही वक्त नही।
आंखों में है नींद बड़ी, पर सोने का वक्त नही।
दिल है ग़मौं से भरा हुआ, पर रोने का भी वक्त नही।
पैसों की दौड़ में ऐसे दौडे, की थकने का भी वक्त नही।
पराये एहसासों की क्या कद्र करें, जब अपने सपनो के लिए ही वक्त नही।
तू ही बता ऐ जिंदगी, इस जिंदगी का क्या होगा, की हर पल मरने वालों को, जीने के लिए भी वक्त नही.......
दिन रात दौड़ती दुनिया में, जिंदगी के लिए ही वक्त नही।
माँ की लोरी का एहसास तो है, पर माँ को माँ कहने का वक्त नही।
सारे रिश्तों को तो हम मार चुके, अब उन्हें दफ़नाने का भी वक्त नही।
सारे नाम मोबाइल में हैं, पर दोस्ती के लए वक्त नही।
गैरों की क्या बात करें, जब अपनों के लिए ही वक्त नही।
आंखों में है नींद बड़ी, पर सोने का वक्त नही।
दिल है ग़मौं से भरा हुआ, पर रोने का भी वक्त नही।
पैसों की दौड़ में ऐसे दौडे, की थकने का भी वक्त नही।
पराये एहसासों की क्या कद्र करें, जब अपने सपनो के लिए ही वक्त नही।
तू ही बता ऐ जिंदगी, इस जिंदगी का क्या होगा, की हर पल मरने वालों को, जीने के लिए भी वक्त नही.......
happiness and sadness
i wonder why, i write only when i am brimming with emotions; either of sadness or happiness..
right now i am happy! happy because for the first time i achieved something ON MY OWN..no approaches, nothing! MY CV got accepted in Anand and Anand! I feel so elated...so..i don't even have words...
I never knew i could do anything on my own caliber... i had taken for granted, i would need help, help of my parents or my friends anyone but i couldn't believe i could do any such thing on my own...
Thank you, Anand & Anand....for giving me the confidence, a new high...something to be proud of..
Sana thinks that luck is nothing...you, your own self is everything..i strongly beg to differ.. i am lucky cz i have an amzing an supportive family. Often i look at a street kid and wonder what life that kid is leading...he would stare at other little kids with jealousy and awe, a kid being pampered n spoiled by his parents, little knowing that this very kid may not even feel any bit of emotion for these very parents or for that matter grow up, move away and leave those parents to rot in an old age home...
life is weird...
right now i am happy! happy because for the first time i achieved something ON MY OWN..no approaches, nothing! MY CV got accepted in Anand and Anand! I feel so elated...so..i don't even have words...
I never knew i could do anything on my own caliber... i had taken for granted, i would need help, help of my parents or my friends anyone but i couldn't believe i could do any such thing on my own...
Thank you, Anand & Anand....for giving me the confidence, a new high...something to be proud of..
Sana thinks that luck is nothing...you, your own self is everything..i strongly beg to differ.. i am lucky cz i have an amzing an supportive family. Often i look at a street kid and wonder what life that kid is leading...he would stare at other little kids with jealousy and awe, a kid being pampered n spoiled by his parents, little knowing that this very kid may not even feel any bit of emotion for these very parents or for that matter grow up, move away and leave those parents to rot in an old age home...
life is weird...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
some more baby pics
aren't they adorableTHESE PICTURES ARE COURTESY SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE THESE WONDERFUL PICTURES WITH THE WORLD ON VARIOUS SITES, APOLOGIES FOR NOT GIVING DUE CREDIT TO THEM, BUT HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND THE ORIGINAL PICTURE TAKERS.
babies
I have no clue what has gotten into me..and why do i have a sudden obsession with babies...i have collected so many pictures of little toddlers, that i have started loosing count..
I simply adore babies, for the simple reason that they are purely innocent, without any bad habits and without any prejudices and biases.They will gladly hop in your lap after initial apprehension, and won't care whether you are a Hindu or a Muslim or a servant or a rich man..
these little angels have an uncanny ability to make you forget your tensions and problems, the minute you see their smiling and innocent faces.
i wish to give birth...to bring out a new life from me..to be able to understand the joy or rather bliss of 'creating'...
Being a mother is the greatest joy for a woman and its really unfair that any woman should be deprived of this by nature...
I simply adore babies, for the simple reason that they are purely innocent, without any bad habits and without any prejudices and biases.They will gladly hop in your lap after initial apprehension, and won't care whether you are a Hindu or a Muslim or a servant or a rich man..
these little angels have an uncanny ability to make you forget your tensions and problems, the minute you see their smiling and innocent faces.
i wish to give birth...to bring out a new life from me..to be able to understand the joy or rather bliss of 'creating'...
Being a mother is the greatest joy for a woman and its really unfair that any woman should be deprived of this by nature...
Sunday, June 15, 2008
loved this
read this beautiful piece written by Sh Harivansh Rai Bachchan for his son, Sh Amitabh Bachchan....intelligent and witty...
Courtesy...Amitabh Bachchan 's Blog
Thursday, June 12, 2008
nostalgia
nostalgia prevails when i am supposed to be working! what timings!
came across few blogs and where one particular blogger was remembering her old times..and made me also think about my old lost memories tucked away somewhere..
i remembered one such incident where me, my sister and my two cousins wanted to do something adventurous.. (adventure then meant climbing gates and walls and jumping!) ..that was class 5..or perhaps 6..i vividly remember wearing my light pink shoes, that i simply loved...and all four of us climbing away to glory on the neighbour's wall to jump to the backside of the neighbour's house, which was nothing but a dumping ground or rather a junk yard..and our hidden 'adventures' to find a hidden treasure there (which was more often than not a rare coloured stone! ).. anyways back to that day...i remember coming back from the junkyard still on the wall trying hard not to step on the pieces of glass on stuck deliberately on the wall to ward off trespassers (read us!).. when i hear my aunt and uncle coming..we all panicked at the thought of being caught standing on neighbor's wall, that we rushed and amidst this a glass piece passed through my pretty pink shoe and pierced my foot..
anyone would have fainted at the sight of blood gushing out, but me..oh never! i was NOT a cry baby...very calmly (and i still wonder how on earth!) i managed to pull put that piece, jump from the wall, with my blood drops following me, and ran to the nearest washroom to wash my feet...without a single tear i managed to survive a bloody incident and happily resumed our activities!
came across few blogs and where one particular blogger was remembering her old times..and made me also think about my old lost memories tucked away somewhere..
i remembered one such incident where me, my sister and my two cousins wanted to do something adventurous.. (adventure then meant climbing gates and walls and jumping!) ..that was class 5..or perhaps 6..i vividly remember wearing my light pink shoes, that i simply loved...and all four of us climbing away to glory on the neighbour's wall to jump to the backside of the neighbour's house, which was nothing but a dumping ground or rather a junk yard..and our hidden 'adventures' to find a hidden treasure there (which was more often than not a rare coloured stone! ).. anyways back to that day...i remember coming back from the junkyard still on the wall trying hard not to step on the pieces of glass on stuck deliberately on the wall to ward off trespassers (read us!).. when i hear my aunt and uncle coming..we all panicked at the thought of being caught standing on neighbor's wall, that we rushed and amidst this a glass piece passed through my pretty pink shoe and pierced my foot..
anyone would have fainted at the sight of blood gushing out, but me..oh never! i was NOT a cry baby...very calmly (and i still wonder how on earth!) i managed to pull put that piece, jump from the wall, with my blood drops following me, and ran to the nearest washroom to wash my feet...without a single tear i managed to survive a bloody incident and happily resumed our activities!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
thank god!
I don't remember the last time i thanked Allah for making me the person i am, for giving me such a loving family and such amazing friends..
Busy with the other 'less important' things we tend to forget the being that created us and gave us the life we are leading...
Today i saw something which made me realise how lucky i am, to be born with perfect hands, eyes, feet...the list is endless...
Today while going to the parking lot of Saket's posh mall, i saw two swanky cars on the entrance, one Mercedes and the other one BMW..curiosity drew me to stare at those amazing machines when my eyes fell upon a young good looking boy, probably in his early twenties or perhaps late teens, sitting on a wheel-chair right in front of the Mercedes. One lady way brushing his hair and another man was smiling and talking to him. I was looking at his feet trying to figure out what was wrong when i suddenly saw another wheel chair nearing the Mercedes, and a young pretty girl about the same age sitting on the back seat of the car, with her feet outside, and her mother (probably), trying to make her stand and sit on the chair...
I was shocked, how can God be so cruel, to give such a terrible disease to someone so beautiful... i realised that even though they may be having all the money in the world, they were still deprived of something that we all take for granted...our feet...
And just when i was recovering from the shock, i saw two good looking boys, most probably members of the same family, in their late twenties and one of the boys also couldn't walk properly. Even though he did not need a wheel chair still his walk was of the kinds that people turned and stared at him..
i was very disturbed and i still am very disturbed...we do not realise and thank Allah for the things he has given us, instead we crib for what we do not have, a better brain, a better figure, a better face and so on... our demands and wishes are endless..
I thank Allah for bestowing upon me His blessings and a good fortune. And i hope and pray that He forfiges me for all the sins i have committed and hope He makes me a stronger person...
Busy with the other 'less important' things we tend to forget the being that created us and gave us the life we are leading...
Today i saw something which made me realise how lucky i am, to be born with perfect hands, eyes, feet...the list is endless...
Today while going to the parking lot of Saket's posh mall, i saw two swanky cars on the entrance, one Mercedes and the other one BMW..curiosity drew me to stare at those amazing machines when my eyes fell upon a young good looking boy, probably in his early twenties or perhaps late teens, sitting on a wheel-chair right in front of the Mercedes. One lady way brushing his hair and another man was smiling and talking to him. I was looking at his feet trying to figure out what was wrong when i suddenly saw another wheel chair nearing the Mercedes, and a young pretty girl about the same age sitting on the back seat of the car, with her feet outside, and her mother (probably), trying to make her stand and sit on the chair...
I was shocked, how can God be so cruel, to give such a terrible disease to someone so beautiful... i realised that even though they may be having all the money in the world, they were still deprived of something that we all take for granted...our feet...
And just when i was recovering from the shock, i saw two good looking boys, most probably members of the same family, in their late twenties and one of the boys also couldn't walk properly. Even though he did not need a wheel chair still his walk was of the kinds that people turned and stared at him..
i was very disturbed and i still am very disturbed...we do not realise and thank Allah for the things he has given us, instead we crib for what we do not have, a better brain, a better figure, a better face and so on... our demands and wishes are endless..
I thank Allah for bestowing upon me His blessings and a good fortune. And i hope and pray that He forfiges me for all the sins i have committed and hope He makes me a stronger person...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
ufffff.................
what the hell is happening to this world...
neeraj bhaiya killed...rather chopped into pieces....ufffff.........
i am just too upset..everyday EVERY GOD DAMN DAY I have to hear such a news....first sanchit's murder, then aarushi's and now this....
poor poor parents...
how can people be so cruel how can they do this.......
what is this world coming to?
what kind of an atmosphere my children will grow up in....
i am not liking this AT ALL...
may his soul rest in peace
neeraj bhaiya killed...rather chopped into pieces....ufffff.........
i am just too upset..everyday EVERY GOD DAMN DAY I have to hear such a news....first sanchit's murder, then aarushi's and now this....
poor poor parents...
how can people be so cruel how can they do this.......
what is this world coming to?
what kind of an atmosphere my children will grow up in....
i am not liking this AT ALL...
may his soul rest in peace
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Life is so unpredictable, you sleep one night without knowing whether you will see the next day or the next minute for that matter.
Two very shocking incident happened in the past week. One was the murder of a young 18 year old by some people he knew, and one which has really shook me from inside is the murder of 14 year old Arushi. Yes, it did make a difference to me because I had seen her some time back, she’s my dentist’s daughter. I guess I first saw her around 10 years back, she was probably a toddler then, I don’t even remember, but I do remember her from the last visit..
Everyone thinks that something this bad couldn’t ever happen to us or our family or our friends.. But then its happening right in front of our eyes… its actually unbelievable.. I just do not understand how can someone be so mentally sick so as to kill a young innocent girl…
I have to do something…not just sit and witness these events…read about a young girl being raped, read about an infant being raped by her own father… appalling, atrocious and JUST PLAIN DISGUSTING ... I think such people should be hanged till they rot..
I mean just the thought of a mother seeing the dead body of her son or daughter with whom she nurtured so many dreams, shared so many thoughts, precious moments and more importantly who actually came out of her…is just so scary… so unimaginable…
Is this why a mother gives birth to her child? To see her getting raped, to see his dead body… to see all her hopes and dreams of seeing her child get married, become a father or a mother just disappear with the child’s ashes..
Why do people do this…why cant they be happy and let others LIVE
Two very shocking incident happened in the past week. One was the murder of a young 18 year old by some people he knew, and one which has really shook me from inside is the murder of 14 year old Arushi. Yes, it did make a difference to me because I had seen her some time back, she’s my dentist’s daughter. I guess I first saw her around 10 years back, she was probably a toddler then, I don’t even remember, but I do remember her from the last visit..
Everyone thinks that something this bad couldn’t ever happen to us or our family or our friends.. But then its happening right in front of our eyes… its actually unbelievable.. I just do not understand how can someone be so mentally sick so as to kill a young innocent girl…
I have to do something…not just sit and witness these events…read about a young girl being raped, read about an infant being raped by her own father… appalling, atrocious and JUST PLAIN DISGUSTING ... I think such people should be hanged till they rot..
I mean just the thought of a mother seeing the dead body of her son or daughter with whom she nurtured so many dreams, shared so many thoughts, precious moments and more importantly who actually came out of her…is just so scary… so unimaginable…
Is this why a mother gives birth to her child? To see her getting raped, to see his dead body… to see all her hopes and dreams of seeing her child get married, become a father or a mother just disappear with the child’s ashes..
Why do people do this…why cant they be happy and let others LIVE
Monday, March 24, 2008
old age
the thought of losing a parent is just unthinkable at this minute...i would die, if i have to wake up without my mom's shouts or begin my day without seeing my dad donning that skull cap, praying and his ever smiling face.. (well..mostly!)... Met my grand dad...wasn't exactly close to him...but seeing him so frail and weak made my heart melt...i dont think i can even imagine the gravity of pain being felt my father when he sees his father, whom i am sure he must have idolized in such a condition...
i cant imagine the emotions that must have gone through my father when he said 'khuda-haafiz'to him, not knowing whether he'll get to see him alive again...and i cannot imagine the guilt he must be having of not being there at this age..
life is actually strange....
it just flashes by...
I feel sad for my grand father...happy also, that he got to attend his eldest grand daughters weddings and sad that perhaps he wont be there to shower his blessings on me when i tie the knot... sad because he spent good 15-16 years without his better half by his side....it must be so difficult...even with a room full of your sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, grandchildren...u still feel incomplete...so alone...
its scary...
so unnerving...
i hope he lives a healthy life and so does every one around me...
i cant imagine the emotions that must have gone through my father when he said 'khuda-haafiz'to him, not knowing whether he'll get to see him alive again...and i cannot imagine the guilt he must be having of not being there at this age..
life is actually strange....
it just flashes by...
I feel sad for my grand father...happy also, that he got to attend his eldest grand daughters weddings and sad that perhaps he wont be there to shower his blessings on me when i tie the knot... sad because he spent good 15-16 years without his better half by his side....it must be so difficult...even with a room full of your sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, grandchildren...u still feel incomplete...so alone...
its scary...
so unnerving...
i hope he lives a healthy life and so does every one around me...
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
blaaahhh
its been ages since i wrote something...
lots of things going on in my mind....gonna miss someone...and he still hasn't left this city... :(
just got over with the moot..had an amazing time...and saw some true faces of people...some shocking and some pleasant...
the thought that i give too much liberties to the people around me just made me realise that in this process i am loosing my dignity and self-esteem...why do i let people around me commit the same mistake again and again...and why do i forgive and forget so easily, without realising that those mistakes are mistakes for me and not for the other person...for him...its just normal.
and yes....i have also learnt to let go....although i did not want things to end like this..but then i din't have a choice....i never do.....
annndddd....oh crap....i have to do my projects...bye for now
lots of things going on in my mind....gonna miss someone...and he still hasn't left this city... :(
just got over with the moot..had an amazing time...and saw some true faces of people...some shocking and some pleasant...
the thought that i give too much liberties to the people around me just made me realise that in this process i am loosing my dignity and self-esteem...why do i let people around me commit the same mistake again and again...and why do i forgive and forget so easily, without realising that those mistakes are mistakes for me and not for the other person...for him...its just normal.
and yes....i have also learnt to let go....although i did not want things to end like this..but then i din't have a choice....i never do.....
annndddd....oh crap....i have to do my projects...bye for now
Thursday, January 24, 2008
just like that :)
I have been reading some blogs…my sister’s; even her faculty’s….i too wanted to make a beautiful blog…perhaps a poetic one…or one that shows that I am grammatically superior to so many others! But I realized creativity is something natural, u cant actually do anything…I remember my sister in school…..she had the most atrocious spellings ever…we used to call her spellings’ truck wali spellings….read a truck’s rear and you’ll know what I mean! And now you read her blog…its simply delightful…a pure pleasure to read..and to gather from the words what an intelligent being she has become….
Sometimes I realize I haven’t grown up much…she was always the immature one; the kid in the family…..primarily because I was ONE minute elder to her…I think it’s the other way round now!
Coming back to where I was….
We look for the things lacking in us….
We envy others who are prettier, more intelligent, more slimmer,
More attractive than us…
What we do miss out in the process of comparison is the qualities in us…
Our hidden self
Our hidden talents..
And we fail to realize that
the pretty people aren’t necessarily the prettiest humans;
it may seem cliché but it actually matters who you are on the inside;
good friendships, good relationships; are good only because of the person inside you
Thursday, January 10, 2008
freedom...
i want to break free......free from mindless and senseless taunts..free from the constant nagging...free from unwanted advices...free from mind boggling instructions.
i want freedom...freedom to grow the way i want to...freedom to learn the way i want to....freedom to things MY way....
i wish i had the chance to grow and learn on my own....wish i had the privilege to learn things my way....wish i had the chance to do things i always wished without any qualms and tensions....and without caring a damn about the world around me.
i want freedom...freedom to grow the way i want to...freedom to learn the way i want to....freedom to things MY way....
i wish i had the chance to grow and learn on my own....wish i had the privilege to learn things my way....wish i had the chance to do things i always wished without any qualms and tensions....and without caring a damn about the world around me.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
sorry sana! took this from your blog! :)
All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -
Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.
- Vikram Seth
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -
Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.
- Vikram Seth
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
welcome 2008!
Another year draws to an end….a phase of life is over…
Less emotional
Little bit more mature
Stronger
A Better person
Happier
Confident
Proud of my achievements
Wild
These are some of the things I have achieved this year.
Every year brings with it more opportunities and more maturity…
Made some amazing new friends, realized who my true friends are, broke some old ties and made some better ones…and rekindled old friendships..
Became the sub editor then the editor, got my articles published, went for the trip…grew up in my own little way….
Take care of my elders
Become more religious
Pray
Read the Koran
Learn more about my religion
Lose weight
Become the editor in chief
Become less emotional
Less dependant on others
Little bit more mature
Study harder and better
Aim for the stars
Do something outrageous and wild
Be there for anyone who needs me
Become more professionally and mentally sound
Read more books, not just collect them.
These are some of the little little things I wish to achieve in 2008….
Friday, December 7, 2007
the name game
i like the name Pufendorf......has an exotic feel to it......like some magical creature...
however his profession ain't that exotic! hes a jurist....someone who analysis every single thing on this earth and comes up with theories which is beyond the understanding of lesser mortals like myself! (thank you very much!!!)
however his profession ain't that exotic! hes a jurist....someone who analysis every single thing on this earth and comes up with theories which is beyond the understanding of lesser mortals like myself! (thank you very much!!!)
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
agggrrrhhhh!!
it is sooo frustrating when despite you telling someone something VERY clearly the other person refuses to acknowledge it or chooses to ignore it.....why do people have to be so cruel and NOT understand how important they can be in someone else's life OR if they do realise it....they are just acting pricey.....
and in the process you lose your self-esteem......sigh...life can be sooooo frustrating sometimes
and in the process you lose your self-esteem......sigh...life can be sooooo frustrating sometimes
hoping against hope...
The human nature...ah...so very quintessential....so typical....
the need to posses something...a thing or a person; is present in every human....
i will die if i dont get the latest cell phone model.....2 months later...i am bored with this...i need a new phone without which i will DIE!!!
I don't think there is anyone in this world who hasn't felt such emotions, not necessarily pertaining to a cell phone..but maybe a dress, a pen, a book and the likes...human needs are endless and so is ones greed.
i sometimes wonder if the objects, which we replace with the 'better ones'; had feelings, how would they feel...just like a human feels when he realises that he is not wanted anymore in some ones life...maybe someone would feel like this on realising that Your friend has better people around them, who are so much better than you, that YOU are not needed anymore, or probably when an old man realises that he is not anymore important in the life of his children who were the centre of his life....
i feel sad...is it necessary if times change people also have to change. the person who was the closest to you, without whom you couldn't even breathe, is god-knows where now!
it isn't evil if someone has done this...its just sad...
and the worst part is, the person on the recieving end has NO choice but to bear the brunt. Yes, you can obviously choose to voice your feelings, but more often than not, it'l hardly make any difference to the other person, cz he has already moved on, whereas you are still stuck there...clinging on a ray of hope....clinging on the last few fond memories, re-living the last few moments spent together...hoping and praying..if only you could turn back time.....and get your child/friend back to wanting your presence in their lives...
But alas! this is a cruel world....people change, minds and hearts change.....what remains are the memories and no matter how much some one tries to negate the other person's presence...these memories occasionally stroll through your life...either making you feel guilty or making you feel happy.....either ways....you ARE remembered.
the need to posses something...a thing or a person; is present in every human....
i will die if i dont get the latest cell phone model.....2 months later...i am bored with this...i need a new phone without which i will DIE!!!
I don't think there is anyone in this world who hasn't felt such emotions, not necessarily pertaining to a cell phone..but maybe a dress, a pen, a book and the likes...human needs are endless and so is ones greed.
i sometimes wonder if the objects, which we replace with the 'better ones'; had feelings, how would they feel...just like a human feels when he realises that he is not wanted anymore in some ones life...maybe someone would feel like this on realising that Your friend has better people around them, who are so much better than you, that YOU are not needed anymore, or probably when an old man realises that he is not anymore important in the life of his children who were the centre of his life....
i feel sad...is it necessary if times change people also have to change. the person who was the closest to you, without whom you couldn't even breathe, is god-knows where now!
it isn't evil if someone has done this...its just sad...
and the worst part is, the person on the recieving end has NO choice but to bear the brunt. Yes, you can obviously choose to voice your feelings, but more often than not, it'l hardly make any difference to the other person, cz he has already moved on, whereas you are still stuck there...clinging on a ray of hope....clinging on the last few fond memories, re-living the last few moments spent together...hoping and praying..if only you could turn back time.....and get your child/friend back to wanting your presence in their lives...
But alas! this is a cruel world....people change, minds and hearts change.....what remains are the memories and no matter how much some one tries to negate the other person's presence...these memories occasionally stroll through your life...either making you feel guilty or making you feel happy.....either ways....you ARE remembered.
Friday, November 30, 2007
i was wrong :(
i speak so much....but don't mean anything....god...never knew i cud be a sadist...i am not.....
i guess this is wrong on my part....to think ill for any one...this is not me....this is not the seema i was....i don want to change....i don want to think ill about any one....i cannot..no matter how much that person has hurt me...no matter how much some one thinks bad about me....
i have been hurt innumerable times...countless times...but don't think it was all their fault... it was my fault too....i have let them hurt me...i had portrayed my weaker side....i had made myself vulnerable....shown my weaker side.....
and even if i don't admit it have hurt the other person too....
but still....i give a lot in every relation of mine....my heart and my soul...but i don deserve accusations and i don't deserve to be misunderstood...
how can i NOT be happy for my close friend...how can i??
ask my parents...ask the people whom i spoke to that night....so happy and elated i was....sigh.....
and i thought i was quite vocal about my feelings for the other person.....to avoid any allegations....
i cannot curse anyone....cursing is for someone who has done NOTHING BUT TO HURT....for a certain S...whom i threw out of my life long back....not for a certain S...who gave me so so much happiness....
being hurt by someone does not mean i curse the person and forget the happier times...
i give benefit of doubt to people who have hurt me....probably to console myself...n save myself from more pain....thinking that there could have been some miscommunication, maybe he was being fed with wrong stories....ill stories....
i guess i should stop....
start accepting the realities of life and be happy for the good times.....
will miss their presence....
i guess this is wrong on my part....to think ill for any one...this is not me....this is not the seema i was....i don want to change....i don want to think ill about any one....i cannot..no matter how much that person has hurt me...no matter how much some one thinks bad about me....
i have been hurt innumerable times...countless times...but don't think it was all their fault... it was my fault too....i have let them hurt me...i had portrayed my weaker side....i had made myself vulnerable....shown my weaker side.....
and even if i don't admit it have hurt the other person too....
but still....i give a lot in every relation of mine....my heart and my soul...but i don deserve accusations and i don't deserve to be misunderstood...
how can i NOT be happy for my close friend...how can i??
ask my parents...ask the people whom i spoke to that night....so happy and elated i was....sigh.....
and i thought i was quite vocal about my feelings for the other person.....to avoid any allegations....
i cannot curse anyone....cursing is for someone who has done NOTHING BUT TO HURT....for a certain S...whom i threw out of my life long back....not for a certain S...who gave me so so much happiness....
being hurt by someone does not mean i curse the person and forget the happier times...
i give benefit of doubt to people who have hurt me....probably to console myself...n save myself from more pain....thinking that there could have been some miscommunication, maybe he was being fed with wrong stories....ill stories....
i guess i should stop....
start accepting the realities of life and be happy for the good times.....
will miss their presence....
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
life
I am disgusted with myself…..disgusted for being so gullible, so weak, so vulnerable.
Some things are never meant to be…I should have realized this long ago…such a fool I am…to allow the other person to hurt me, again, and again and yet again.
I wish I was also one of those with BIG egos...maybe life would have been happier and smoother….and I wish I had the guts to go and slap someone right across the face…
Hmph….world is a mean mean place….full of egoistic and selfish people…. I pity these people…
I don’t think I actually cursed anyone the way I did last night. I don’t regret it one bit. I know most of the curses I say end up becoming true. I never knew I could be a sadist, never thought I could think badly about someone, but I did actually did so last night.
Well, I guess whatever happens, happens for a reason, I am glad it did. God taught me a lesson and I hope I remember this throughout my life. And not be as gullible as stupid as I was.
Life is very long, everything good or bad you do comes back to you. I hope whatever has happened is for the good only.
God is watching everything and I WILL never be so weak to allow someone to hurt me to such an extent.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
AR Rahman!
Currently listening to a track called Vande Matram by AR Rahman…
There is something about this song..something that just cannot be described. Makes you feel soo ‘Indian’. Makes you feel proud of being an Indian, makes you feel so patriotic! And makes you feel like actually doing something worthwhile with your life and subsequently making your country proud.
At least this is my current state of mind after listening to this song.
Went for a concert on 17th, ended up screwing my rent law exam! But it was all worth it…no word can describe it.. I mean it was fantabolous! Just out of the world!!
This guy is ACTUALLY A WONDER!
Enough rambling about him!
It’s so much better to see such things LIVE. Watching same thing on TV wouldn’t have stirred my emotions so much! Seeing the whole audience almost mesmerized by a single man is an experience in itself.
The best part was the concluding song…Vande Mataram…where the whole audience of good 25,0000-30,000 people were on their toes (and some on the chairs! Including me) singing the National Song!! People from 7-70 were humming along!
Such is the beauty of a song and an amazing singer!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
meeeeee :)
now i am going to write regularly on my blog :) as soon as these darn exams get over!!!!
by the way this is me edited by my super talented sister..
something nice
found this somewhere on the net :)
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much ppl claim they will be there for u in the end its juz u againt the world
I've learned u cant make ppl change the way they think about all u can do it change the path so that u dont meet them
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
I've learned that The best part of any relationship is the beginning.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that no matter how many friends you have,
if you are their pillar you will feel lonely
and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned that When you are in a position to not be a nice person, that's when you find out who you really are.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I'v earned that My views have evolved from childhood, but I haven't changed my mind in a very dramatic way. I've always felt I was on the side of the angels.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.
I've learned not to care, because caring makes you hurt.
I've learned that no matter how bad
your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that although the word "love"
can have many different meanings,
it loses value when overly used.
I've learned that you should always leave
loved ones withloving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that it's hard to determine
where to draw the line
between being nice and
not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned that sumtimes ignorance is d best way to handle a situation
And I've learned…..
Saturday, September 22, 2007
dont go :(
Two things happened today…which made me ponder..about life..Yet again..
Firstly…I realized that time flies like anything.
My cousin is leaving for Australia on 27th. I am so happy for him..nevertheless it makes me so sad…seeing him go.
I remember moving to delhi when I was in class 5. We had a blast. The four of us. Skating in the rain on the roads; cycling early in the morning; playing cricket in the sun at 2 p.m. in the month of June and July. Sigh..those were the days…wish I could travel back in time and get back those innocent days; the innocent fights; the innocent discussions; and not to forget the games we ‘invented’.
Now ‘the four of us’ are in different worlds altogether. Sana in ahemdabad; Pulkit in Bombay; Pranjal in Australia; and me here…
Time actually flies.
Wish I had a video camera with me all the years so I could capture those times and look at them whenever I am down. I am definitely going to give my children a video camera as soon as they learn their abcs’!! I am going to miss him so much.
I may not see him for the next so many years..maybe two, three, four or five..and then the distance will set in, I will be busy in my life and he will be busy in his.
I find it very strange that we cry when we part with someone, we think about him all the time till a few days and then we tend to ‘forget about him’ like he goes into our subconscious and then our unconscious.
I find this strange…really strange….having said that I don’t think my life and thought process will not be much different…
As of now the very thought of parting with someone close to me gives me goosebumps!!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
He told me he’ll be there for me..
Always…
No matter what….
Even if the world turns against you…
I’ll be there..
To give you a hand..
To guide you…
To give you a shoulder to cry on…
To wipe your tears..
He said.
I trusted him…blindly…
This is life..they say…
Always unfair
Always unkind
When I needed him
He wasn’t there
He turned against me
I watched him…fighting back tears..
Tears of betrayal
Tears of disbelief
Tears of pure sadness..
I watched him stand opposite me
Standing against me
With the world..
I realized there is no such thing as perfect friendship..
Then I met another him..
I wanted perfect friendship…
But what I had forgotten was that there is NO such thing…
Things were not rosy
My expectations were high…
What he gave, were less as per my standards
Then one day something snapped…
I realized my mistake
I realized that I was trying to change him
I wanted him to become another him
Because I wanted him to be a perfect friend
I wanted him to say the nicest things
The nicest vows of friendships
Just like the earlier him
Now I can finally say I have learnt the following…
The nicest of words are not necessarily the truth
There is no such thing as the best friend or the bestest friend
Actions speak louder than words…
And that things always needn’t be expressed in words…
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