Friday, November 30, 2007

i was wrong :(

i speak so much....but don't mean anything....god...never knew i cud be a sadist...i am not.....
i guess this is wrong on my part....to think ill for any one...this is not me....this is not the seema i was....i don want to change....i don want to think ill about any one....i cannot..no matter how much that person has hurt me...no matter how much some one thinks bad about me....

i have been hurt innumerable times...countless times...but don't think it was all their fault... it was my fault too....i have let them hurt me...i had portrayed my weaker side....i had made myself vulnerable....shown my weaker side.....
and even if i don't admit it have hurt the other person too....
but still....i give a lot in every relation of mine....my heart and my soul...but i don deserve accusations and i don't deserve to be misunderstood...
how can i NOT be happy for my close friend...how can i??
ask my parents...ask the people whom i spoke to that night....so happy and elated i was....sigh.....

and i thought i was quite vocal about my feelings for the other person.....to avoid any allegations....

i cannot curse anyone....cursing is for someone who has done NOTHING BUT TO HURT....for a certain S...whom i threw out of my life long back....not for a certain S...who gave me so so much happiness....
being hurt by someone does not mean i curse the person and forget the happier times...

i give benefit of doubt to people who have hurt me....probably to console myself...n save myself from more pain....thinking that there could have been some miscommunication, maybe he was being fed with wrong stories....ill stories....

i guess i should stop....
start accepting the realities of life and be happy for the good times.....

will miss their presence....

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

life

I am disgusted with myself…..disgusted for being so gullible, so weak, so vulnerable.

Some things are never meant to be…I should have realized this long ago…such a fool I am…to allow the other person to hurt me, again, and again and yet again.

I wish I was also one of those with BIG egos...maybe life would have been happier and smoother….and I wish I had the guts to go and slap someone right across the face…

Hmph….world is a mean mean place….full of egoistic and selfish people…. I pity these people…

I don’t think I actually cursed anyone the way I did last night. I don’t regret it one bit. I know most of the curses I say end up becoming true. I never knew I could be a sadist, never thought I could think badly about someone, but I did actually did so last night.

Well, I guess whatever happens, happens for a reason, I am glad it did. God taught me a lesson and I hope I remember this throughout my life. And not be as gullible as stupid as I was.

Life is very long, everything good or bad you do comes back to you. I hope whatever has happened is for the good only.

God is watching everything and I WILL never be so weak to allow someone to hurt me to such an extent.

Friday, November 23, 2007

another one!







i am somewhere in there :)

my creation!


i no this is very naive..nevertheless i am proud of my creation!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

AR Rahman!

Currently listening to a track called Vande Matram by AR Rahman…

There is something about this song..something that just cannot be described. Makes you feel soo ‘Indian’. Makes you feel proud of being an Indian, makes you feel so patriotic! And makes you feel like actually doing something worthwhile with your life and subsequently making your country proud.

At least this is my current state of mind after listening to this song.

Went for a concert on 17th, ended up screwing my rent law exam! But it was all worth it…no word can describe it.. I mean it was fantabolous! Just out of the world!!

This guy is ACTUALLY A WONDER!

Enough rambling about him!

It’s so much better to see such things LIVE. Watching same thing on TV wouldn’t have stirred my emotions so much! Seeing the whole audience almost mesmerized by a single man is an experience in itself.

The best part was the concluding song…Vande Mataram…where the whole audience of good 25,0000-30,000 people were on their toes (and some on the chairs! Including me) singing the National Song!! People from 7-70 were humming along!

Such is the beauty of a song and an amazing singer!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

meeeeee :)


now i am going to write regularly on my blog :) as soon as these darn exams get over!!!!

by the way this is me edited by my super talented sister..

something nice


found this somewhere on the net :)


I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much ppl claim they will be there for u in the end its juz u againt the world
I've learned u cant make ppl change the way they think about all u can do it change the path so that u dont meet them
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
I've learned that The best part of any relationship is the beginning.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that no matter how many friends you have,
if you are their pillar you will feel lonely
and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned that When you are in a position to not be a nice person, that's when you find out who you really are.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I'v earned that My views have evolved from childhood, but I haven't changed my mind in a very dramatic way. I've always felt I was on the side of the angels.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.
I've learned not to care, because caring makes you hurt.
I've learned that no matter how bad
your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that although the word "love"
can have many different meanings,
it loses value when overly used.
I've learned that you should always leave
loved ones withloving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that it's hard to determine
where to draw the line
between being nice and
not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.

I've learned that sumtimes ignorance is d best way to handle a situation

And I've learned…..